From The Back Of The Cupboard: The Great Farscape

It’s Spring, 2001. It’s a dark time for space exploration as Mir is de-orbitted and it only gets worse for fans of sci-fi comedy as Douglas Adams dies and the last 3^rd Rock episode goes out. But if the tears are getting to you then forget about them with SFX’s guide to the sexiest corners of modern science-fiction.

FRONT COVER: Dressed up like a Peacekeeper, Aeryn Sun of Farscape is pointing a gun at the reader. This naturally lends itself to the words “SEX PISTOLS” in massive letters because it is time, of course, for SFX’s “Top 20 Sexiest SF Babes ’n’ Hunks”. It’s a classy magazine. The cover says “Flip this mag for a Lord of the Rings feast”, referencing some sort of supplement that I’ve clearly lost. Shame about that. But never fear, because The Spoiler Zone reports on a search for Mulder, there’s a Doctor Who exclusive and some gubbins about Star Trek Voyager!

MAILBAG: This kicks off in an interesting fashion with some readers defending Pitch Black. More interesting, however, is a letter from the Doctor Who Restoration Team berating Paul Cornell’s rubbish fact-checking that ends “perhaps the next time Paul is tempted to bandy the term ‘fanboy’ around, he should look in the mirror first”. (Or, perhaps, he should wait about four years.)

STRANGE TALES: The big news is Doctor Who. Just as we’d got over not having a Paul McGann-fronted series, here comes this blow: a radio series pilot, with McCoy and Sophie Aldred, is not going to be broadcast or given a series. But rumour has it that Death Comes To Time will be streamed on the BBC’s website. Dan Freedman says of the pilot: “The whole universe is slightly expanded, but it doesn’t contradict the mythology at all. I mean, there’s no snogging.” (Perhaps a looser approach to continuity and fewer hang-ups about girls might not have been a terrible idea, eh, Dan?) He also adds that Who should be a little bit campy because “If you make Doctor Who hi-tech, like they did in the TV movie, it just becomes Lethal Weapon 5.” Which is... really easy to argue with, actually.

Elsewhere in Strange Tales, an unknown bloke called Tom Welling is going to play a teenage Clark Kent in a new TV show about Superman. What, was Dean Cain too past it? Star Trek news is all go: Romulans are being tweaked for the new film and the new show, focusing on the “birth of the Federation” is being worked on right now to begin in September, which may ditch the Star Trek title from its name. Or not, as SFX’s spy is reckoning on it having the snappy title Star Trek Federation: In The Beginning. Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes has had its first official shots released, which are putting at ease “the detractors who feared the ape make-up would never live up”. More intriguingly, “the planet in question is not Earth... though Burton does have another twist”. (Yes, but will anybody be able to figure it out at all?)

The old faithful Internet ad “Wanted: someone to go back in time with me” makes its appearance in Strange Tales’ ‘Don’t Quote Me On That’ section. And as for Development Hell...

• Bond 20: A roundup of rumours regarding the next James Bond film. Is it going to be called Beyond The Ice? SFX thinks not, but it knows that Catherine Zeta-Jones will not be taking over from Pierce Brosnan. That’s a relief.
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Marilyn Manson is not playing Willy Wonka. FACT. Gary Ross who directed Pleasantville will be directing. FACT.
• Constantine: Apparently Nic Cage is “sniffing around” the film. (Imagine if Keanu Reeves had consequently ended up as Ghost Rider, eh?)

PAUL CORNELL: Fresh from being taken to task by the Restoration Team, Mr Cornell notes that Channel 4 can’t schedule Angel. They want to show it at a time for teenagers, because that’s who they think the audience is. But at those times in the schedule, the show is censored to the point of ridiculousness. Cornell says part of the problem is that “nothing with vampires in it will ever be [adult entertainment]”. And although the BBC has axed one fantasy series, he still holds out hope for The Second Coming by Russell T Davies. Russell would do well to keep such a complimentary chap in mind.

TOP 10 SEXIEST: The winning pair of Number 1s are David Boreanaz and Sarah Michelle Gellar: no surprises there. Anthony Head got to be number 4 and Gigi Edgley managed to make number 6 despite (or maybe because of) her constant blue make-up in Farscape. Lucy Lawless just scraped in at number 10, and probably won’t be pleased to know that her male equivalent is Patrick Stewart, unless she wants to star in a film where her clothes fall off.

FARSCAPE: There’s a feature on Farscape, which was about halfway through its whole run by this point. Claudia Black skates round the issue of filming the show despite having been killed off and is alright with being beaten by Gellar to the top spot of sexiest sci-fi/fantasy woman. Ben Browder, on the other hand, reminisces about going to the pub with James Nesbitt. No, really.

COUCH POTATO: Yes, it’s that bit where the SFX staff watch various things and make witty observations. With guest reviewers Spaced stars Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jessica Stevenson and Mark Heap. (No Edgar Wright? SFX should be kicking themselves.) The theme of the night’s entertainment is the undead. “Where are the zombies?” asks Pegg of Doctor Who’s “The Tenth Planet”. There’s a question he might be asking again and again.